Saturday, May 1, 2010
might not be enough
11:12 PM
i really dont understand how life can be so freaking unfair, whyy there ever has to be stuff like jsls to make us feel inadequate. i think life can be bad enough when you have to deal with growing up, which seriously is a lott harder than you think it actually is. i really, honestly, fervently, hope that somewhere out there, there's this world where people can live without feeling like they're way down there and they're never gonna be equal to other people.
like i said the last time before you guys told me to stop talking cos somehow i was making all of you cry, i was saying that i can be out there with the main cast and i look back at you guys, cos your smiles are what gives me(and us) the strength to carry out and do what we need to do. but when i looked and you guys weren't in the gym anymore, cos y'all left and started crying, i just faltered. really. cos i didn't believe i could go on there anymore as long as you guys just left.
every imperfection in our batch, every off note or dissonance, is what makes up our batch. it's what makes Ad Astra so beautiful, really. and its when we sing together as a batch, that's when we sound best, because the very fact that we all come from different backgrounds and go home every night to different places, and yet that we can all come together for a common purpose because all we want to do is sing together and enjoy the wonderful friendships life has given us, is enough reason for us to inject all our emotions and effort into whatever we're singing.
why. why does there have to be things like rainstorms and then a sun after that. why do people have to fail or pass. Why must there always be this contrast between things. must there always be a good or a better?
i thought all this was behind us, that we'll work it out together. and we are, i know, that we're really trying with all our might, but right now, right now, i feel that might not be enough.
