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Handover was really D:, and this morn when i woke up i felt really lonely and sad inside. I think for us right choir has really been like a central part of our lives. And it is really really amazing how all 54 of us come from different families, different backgrounds, maybe before even different parts of the world, but when we come together, there is something amazing, something special that comes out of making music and of being in it all together<3
And i rmb how when i first came into choir, i was so clueless and thought it was just a cca bleh. then after like sunshine 08 i realized that somethings in life are so beautiful and how certain people have an affinity for each other, and when they do things together, things magically come together and in the end, everything is alright. That's the way it is for us, choir (:
4 years have just swept by and i cant help thinking when will my life begin again..): staying back after prac to busk and to talk about life, the warm soft yellow lights, the music, the love, the friendship, the laughter, the joy, tears and sadness.. to experience so much, and to have found companionship among people that i love.. :D
that's enough for me(:
and to my dearest rgs choir, i hope that all of you will learn, grow, fall, but always pick yourselves and each other up. Don't give up and always keep the faith, and someday we will get there okay?
WE LOVE YOU GUYS TOO MUCH,
rgschoir'11<3
Saturday, May 1, 2010
i really dont understand how life can be so freaking unfair, whyy there ever has to be stuff like jsls to make us feel inadequate. i think life can be bad enough when you have to deal with growing up, which seriously is a lott harder than you think it actually is. i really, honestly, fervently, hope that somewhere out there, there's this world where people can live without feeling like they're way down there and they're never gonna be equal to other people.
like i said the last time before you guys told me to stop talking cos somehow i was making all of you cry, i was saying that i can be out there with the main cast and i look back at you guys, cos your smiles are what gives me(and us) the strength to carry out and do what we need to do. but when i looked and you guys weren't in the gym anymore, cos y'all left and started crying, i just faltered. really. cos i didn't believe i could go on there anymore as long as you guys just left.
every imperfection in our batch, every off note or dissonance, is what makes up our batch. it's what makes Ad Astra so beautiful, really. and its when we sing together as a batch, that's when we sound best, because the very fact that we all come from different backgrounds and go home every night to different places, and yet that we can all come together for a common purpose because all we want to do is sing together and enjoy the wonderful friendships life has given us, is enough reason for us to inject all our emotions and effort into whatever we're singing.
why. why does there have to be things like rainstorms and then a sun after that. why do people have to fail or pass. Why must there always be this contrast between things. must there always be a good or a better?
i thought all this was behind us, that we'll work it out together. and we are, i know, that we're really trying with all our might, but right now, right now, i feel that might not be enough.
Reblogging cos life demands it
10:58 PMi'm reblogging. really. i know why i stopped blogging and all that, but right now i feel like the world needs to know what i have to say. I just read some people's blogs and tumblr that i never have before, and its amazing how dang stupid i've been. I had no idea how deep they were really hurting, cos most of the time you're just worrying about yourself, and i can tell you now, honestly, how plain stupid that is. You don't make up your world, dude. the people who live around, who love you and who you love, do. you can pretend and tell yourself that it's every man for himself out there, and that life isn't unfair. Fend for yourself.
right, like i could hold on to that pathetic belief. b, there are some times when you really gotta stay strong for the people around you, and this is one of those times. People in your batch are fallnig down around you like crazy, they're being buffeted by this wild storm that really makes it impossible for them to go on. you need to tell them now that they're special.
Friday, April 24, 2009
" I have found the paradox that when you love until it hurts, then there is no more hurt, only love."
saw it today in choir room and felt, how very, very true.
<3>
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
20th April 2009, SYF
11:00 PMI really, really think i learnt a lot from this experience. i always thought, and i think we all did, that it was very very, somehow explicably, important for rgs choir to get gold with honours. it seemed to be something that we all expected and set our sights on. so i think when we didn't get that honours, we were just so disappointed. as in, we felt that we deserved more than just this. and i remember telling myself to be calm before they announced the results. and chloe like took my hand as they announced "Choir 76. Raffles Girls Secondary. Gold." and then there was this kind of weird clapping and then silence and although there was no sound, a lot of choir people around were already crying. see, that just proves yet again that we're more than a choir. we're a family. i think back on all those practices since last november and i feel that we've really, really, grown together. and that's the most important. we cry together, we laugh, we make music, we sing, and we feel together.
like when we were standing on stage, we were nervous, but i felt this unity and this protectiveness and love surrounding us as i sang, and i just felt for a moment that there was a lot in this world to cherish. and when i stepped down from that stage, i knew we didn't maximise our potential up there, but yupp what matters is that we really tried. i think some people in the audience got our message for ave maria, and to me, that's what's most important. not the results, but the message we got across. and for that, rgs choir, i'm very very proud of us all.
i'm sorry, dear sec four batch for letting you all down but i promise, i promise that batch'11 will get back the HONOURS for rgs choir! and we'll still be the same, not stressed nor anything but the crazy awesome batch that we are. and i really, really feel that we're this one special choir, and even if the whole world regards us as just a gold choir without honours, we all know deep down inside that we're more fabulous than they think we are, and even if it's just us as a small choir standing insignificantly against the wide backdrop of the world, we'll give them tooth and nail and fight for all we're worth. It has been the awesomest experience ever with rgschoir, and i'm eternally grateful for that.
I love you, rgs choir. <3>bianche,rgs choir sop 120th April 2009
Saturday, April 18, 2009
rgs choir <3
5:03 PMChoir today was very very fufilling really i never expected to get so emotional and cry in the midst of ave but haha i suppose it's good cause it shows my growing involvement in the song. really i think ave maria is one of the most beautiful songs ever it's not just about the notes and the way Franz Biebl placed the chords it's also about how it's so simple but talks about humanity and how forgiveness is so near yet so hard to give. i think it's very, very true. i only teared at the start of the video cause i was just so touched by their voices, and how they really put their heart into the song to reach out and touch others. i was just thinking that i could never really sing like them and the song was just so beautiful that i couldn't help tearing. Then when we sang Ave afterwards, it was like a barrier crashed in me and i couldn't help it, heard em crying behind me and then i just felt so super sad for a lot of people and lost friendships. and ms loo was talking about how it all boils down to simple humanity and forgiveness and praying for mercy and a lot went through my mind. i'm sorry i didn't mean to freak you out or make you cry emeline. ):
anyway, ave now holds a whole new meaning for me. it's like when you reach the ending and find the strength in you to spin the air and punch out those last beautiful notes and when i'm holding the ending c chord, i hear the F(omg the f chord combined with the high G and A) and my heart just wrenches apart. i think i learnt a lot from choir, and it's in the midst of singing those songs when you youself get touched and start feeling sad about life. but i suppose it's alright, we all have our ups and downs in life and it's only through all this that we truly learn how to be human. yupp i don't regret not going to ora cause today was really special. <3>
And we have 2 days left jiayou we can do it- GWH will be ours HAHA. <3>
anyway, took mrt with sabrina after choir ended. went to northpoint to eat lunch at KFC then we really talked a lot. haha thanks i think that was a meaningful discussion(like philo COI) haha and i'm glad we said what we wanted to say. :) though most of the time it was pure gossip and weird loud laughter. but people have been telling me i'm stressed and i'm becoming very weird so i guess it's good that i had fun today! :D
haha on friday morning assembly the sunrise was damn beautiful it was like this glorious conflagration of pink, blue, red, purple, orange, white, and yellow. and it was like the sky was a lightening purple blue and wisps of sky in between were fiery red and orange it was such a sght. like when i stepped out of my schoolbus i said "OMG" very loudly in the middle of the parade square. and sorry kim for dragging you out to see a sunrise that was no longer exsistent. >.<
yupp and during chinese i showed chu this drawing Awa did of easter eggs in a basket:
Bianche: eh chu, look, easter eggs so cute!
Chu Ren(confused): i thought they were poisonous mushrooms!
HAHA.
hmm went home on mrt with sabrina after that, watched the marvellous sunset together. we were so weird like practically straining our necks to see the sky through trees and the stupid tall buildings.
i love you, rgs choir, all the way for syf 2009! <3